Well we are all changing and I am as well- I am updating this other blog as to my painting and pictures :) Please Follow, I might find time again to sign but I do not know..
http://cats-rants.blogspot.com/
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Monday, March 5, 2012
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I Cried
For the longest time I cried, Oh lord For someone to hear, and to see me Can this be that?
Lord Protect what I can not, Lord shall I open my heart again? Or shall I hinder what is wanted of me? Is this your will..Shall I be happy again? Shall they be happy, healthy and safe, and see me happy as well? You have so richly blessed me with them, shall this be more to my blessings?
I seek not treasures here on Earth of father, I seek only to teach others to see you and the blessings that you have given me I pray one day that know this. Father, Shall I open my heart again..Shall I place it on my sleeve? To wear it can easily be rendered broken? But what is love if not to give it away?
Oh lord, How I had forgotten what A smile was, for real..God have you shown me what my heart wants? Or Lord is this an illusion?
The joy that comes from me, that questions I long to have ans answered when Lord, You are the only one that has the answer. Lord I seek after you in all your ways.
Tell me what it is..show me if my heart will be content, or better still it is Your will. In your Holy Sons Name, Jesus Name Amen.
Lord Protect what I can not, Lord shall I open my heart again? Or shall I hinder what is wanted of me? Is this your will..Shall I be happy again? Shall they be happy, healthy and safe, and see me happy as well? You have so richly blessed me with them, shall this be more to my blessings?
I seek not treasures here on Earth of father, I seek only to teach others to see you and the blessings that you have given me I pray one day that know this. Father, Shall I open my heart again..Shall I place it on my sleeve? To wear it can easily be rendered broken? But what is love if not to give it away?
Oh lord, How I had forgotten what A smile was, for real..God have you shown me what my heart wants? Or Lord is this an illusion?
The joy that comes from me, that questions I long to have ans answered when Lord, You are the only one that has the answer. Lord I seek after you in all your ways.
Tell me what it is..show me if my heart will be content, or better still it is Your will. In your Holy Sons Name, Jesus Name Amen.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
A Dance
What is it that you have to learn to see, how things that where are no more, and things that have to be ..may never be what you need them to be.
What part of us tells us that we have to do things and we can not be alone..
What is the ache that longs to hold something, but knows that its best to be alone, until God leads the right one to you.
The sudden need and the longing to not be alone, but the pending fact that maybe its not what I want that matters, I have tried to not listen and still it hits me at times, but this is best. Maybe there will be some one, maybe not. But there will for ever be a God above and that is enough. For ever. .
.
What part of us tells us that we have to do things and we can not be alone..
What is the ache that longs to hold something, but knows that its best to be alone, until God leads the right one to you.
The sudden need and the longing to not be alone, but the pending fact that maybe its not what I want that matters, I have tried to not listen and still it hits me at times, but this is best. Maybe there will be some one, maybe not. But there will for ever be a God above and that is enough. For ever. .
.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Tears.. fears... and Screams Tis time..
Its time to let it go...its time to find where my feet should set.
And is there a place other than where I am at now
And where dose God seek for me to be..
How attached am I to the place where I am standing now..and is it just a place..
Or is there a reason that brought me here..
Oh God find with in my heart the answer...and place there your answer.
and place there also your truth..
For my own ways are folly and Lord Guide me where I need to stand...
And is there a place other than where I am at now
And where dose God seek for me to be..
How attached am I to the place where I am standing now..and is it just a place..
Or is there a reason that brought me here..
Oh God find with in my heart the answer...and place there your answer.
and place there also your truth..
For my own ways are folly and Lord Guide me where I need to stand...
Our Journey
The past few days have shown me what I needed to see. I am different and the haze is gone, and I have to work hard to make it stay away..
We have traveled many long miles together me and the haze I was under, I believed in it, and I failed to believe in any one else. But now I see, I did not need it,
This cloud that hung around me and taunted me.
What has become of it I wonder some times now that I have my Fire back. >?
What has chased it a way.. was it the wind? Or the faith that my wind brought back to me?
They say you are granted one second wind in life...and if you find it breathe it in and take it, and never let it go..until you breathe it back out in heaven.
See I have traveled many miles in the past days, and one thing I have left behind is my haze..that I was in and that had me believing that I needed it...I can't be with out it..But thing is I can never be my Who God wants me to be with it - so , here I am,...with out my Haze :) .
We have traveled many long miles together me and the haze I was under, I believed in it, and I failed to believe in any one else. But now I see, I did not need it,
This cloud that hung around me and taunted me.
What has become of it I wonder some times now that I have my Fire back. >?
What has chased it a way.. was it the wind? Or the faith that my wind brought back to me?
They say you are granted one second wind in life...and if you find it breathe it in and take it, and never let it go..until you breathe it back out in heaven.
See I have traveled many miles in the past days, and one thing I have left behind is my haze..that I was in and that had me believing that I needed it...I can't be with out it..But thing is I can never be my Who God wants me to be with it - so , here I am,...with out my Haze :) .
Monday, August 1, 2011
To days Treck...
I have been looking over and looking for mother in the word and the ideas that I Have come to and the personal thoughts that have shown me this much :
If needed the world will sell its own mother, son and or daughter and father- to gain whatever they need in this life but one must never betray true love of these people so if you believe you can never cast your family aside, but if you are desperate to hold on to the world and what it has you will. .
so I have found this: /http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+10:36-38&version=NIV
36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’[a]
37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Footnotes:
It dose not mean that you can not love others, just you can not be consumed of them. You have to let them go, as a mother lets her child fell pain- though she dose not want to she has to because in learning pain you learn what you can and can not do, for your self.. you can be told all day long not to touch something but when you reach an age where you start to want to know why - you have to fell for your self, it will be hot, and yes it will hurt but you have to learn. Because each person in time will have to be who God wants them to be or who they them selves want to be and God will still be waiting for you-
for your own journey, - and your choice to give him more of your time, though at time this can not be done, you have to give of your flesh to make this so...
If needed the world will sell its own mother, son and or daughter and father- to gain whatever they need in this life but one must never betray true love of these people so if you believe you can never cast your family aside, but if you are desperate to hold on to the world and what it has you will. .
so I have found this: /http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+10:36-38&version=NIV
Matthew 10:36-38
New International Version (NIV)
36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’[a]
37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Footnotes:
It dose not mean that you can not love others, just you can not be consumed of them. You have to let them go, as a mother lets her child fell pain- though she dose not want to she has to because in learning pain you learn what you can and can not do, for your self.. you can be told all day long not to touch something but when you reach an age where you start to want to know why - you have to fell for your self, it will be hot, and yes it will hurt but you have to learn. Because each person in time will have to be who God wants them to be or who they them selves want to be and God will still be waiting for you-
for your own journey, - and your choice to give him more of your time, though at time this can not be done, you have to give of your flesh to make this so...
Sunday, July 31, 2011
My Journey Starts
I am going on a long journey but am not going an where..
As you will read in my other blog..
I am learning who I am, and who am I supposed to be..
And this is not a journey I travel lightly with..
For with me I am taking a few things...
A Tattered Bible.. Marked and looked over
I am Taking self and throwing it from a high cliff..and telling it I dont need you..because all you are is flesh..(not literal....its a death that I have to have...in order to live for my God..) Its not a literal Death..its that I have to kill off the part of me that ...dose not want to take this journey...that likes it the way it is... that just is fine with being of this world...and being self minded, even though its not that I have been selfish as I place many people over myself, it is that echo in my mind...'come on you need to do this...you need someone..you need love,' But what this voice what this self dose not see is the love all around me, I do not need what the world wants to say I need, 'you need a man..you can't do it on your own..' this is what it wants you to think..but My God never made anything that I can not go through with him. If I am here alone, well maybe there is a reason, I have not yet gone on this journey..many years have gone by and I have been told long ago I needed to But the world's idea of life got in the way, and I let it.. So now, I will battle this part of me, do the death and even if its daily...monthly ( no ploy there...) I will keep on because what is worth knowing and finding,,it what am I set out to be from God. Not man, Not their ideals, but Gods. and This is what I will find, alone or with someone , I can deal because I will not look through their eyes, I am alone for now, but so loved, that one can only add to it not take a way from.
And I will be taking the Me.- Me that I am taking is more than flesh it is not made for man, it is not made to please its self...for it was made to bear and create life for life was given to me, and gave for me not for my self but so that I would show others who I am living through..
This journey is not for the weak, because I am not taking much to do, I am taking many note book, and pens not because I am sure I will not make mistakes..but because i am taking many notebooks....
This is the start of my journey though I am not leaving any where I am finding my self...And the person that I am to be.
Friends have warned me that this journey will take months maybe years, but I am well worth finding, and Maybe one Day ..Well that will come to be a good thing, because I will have known me longer , and know that I am worth Finding, be cause I have found me, and if others don't look at me like they should, because of it, or who I am well this might be their loss.. Thank you.. and Here we go going to pack and find a nice shade tree and find me...( okay for the literal minds ...I am going to rest and think.. stock up on needs...and caffeine and start soon...on this journey...)
As you will read in my other blog..
I am learning who I am, and who am I supposed to be..
And this is not a journey I travel lightly with..
For with me I am taking a few things...
A Tattered Bible.. Marked and looked over
I am Taking self and throwing it from a high cliff..and telling it I dont need you..because all you are is flesh..(not literal....its a death that I have to have...in order to live for my God..) Its not a literal Death..its that I have to kill off the part of me that ...dose not want to take this journey...that likes it the way it is... that just is fine with being of this world...and being self minded, even though its not that I have been selfish as I place many people over myself, it is that echo in my mind...'come on you need to do this...you need someone..you need love,' But what this voice what this self dose not see is the love all around me, I do not need what the world wants to say I need, 'you need a man..you can't do it on your own..' this is what it wants you to think..but My God never made anything that I can not go through with him. If I am here alone, well maybe there is a reason, I have not yet gone on this journey..many years have gone by and I have been told long ago I needed to But the world's idea of life got in the way, and I let it.. So now, I will battle this part of me, do the death and even if its daily...monthly ( no ploy there...) I will keep on because what is worth knowing and finding,,it what am I set out to be from God. Not man, Not their ideals, but Gods. and This is what I will find, alone or with someone , I can deal because I will not look through their eyes, I am alone for now, but so loved, that one can only add to it not take a way from.
And I will be taking the Me.- Me that I am taking is more than flesh it is not made for man, it is not made to please its self...for it was made to bear and create life for life was given to me, and gave for me not for my self but so that I would show others who I am living through..
This journey is not for the weak, because I am not taking much to do, I am taking many note book, and pens not because I am sure I will not make mistakes..but because i am taking many notebooks....
This is the start of my journey though I am not leaving any where I am finding my self...And the person that I am to be.
Friends have warned me that this journey will take months maybe years, but I am well worth finding, and Maybe one Day ..Well that will come to be a good thing, because I will have known me longer , and know that I am worth Finding, be cause I have found me, and if others don't look at me like they should, because of it, or who I am well this might be their loss.. Thank you.. and Here we go going to pack and find a nice shade tree and find me...( okay for the literal minds ...I am going to rest and think.. stock up on needs...and caffeine and start soon...on this journey...)
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